yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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