but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
