You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize