plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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