im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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