Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he fucked my hip out of place.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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