i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
