what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
barbara walters just said penis...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
