Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Randomize
