I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
