No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
