I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Sober January is a disaster.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
