All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
