I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
