just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
