so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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