We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Sext me about skeletons
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
