what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
