her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
