i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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