So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
