So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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