I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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