Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
As shirtless as possible
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
