I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Dick very happy bro
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
