great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
