I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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