Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
