I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
