She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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