Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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