loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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