I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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