Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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