I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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