And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
