I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize