Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
