I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
