Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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