I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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