there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
