I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Randomize
