Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
