I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
