All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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