look no pants
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We have started to decorate penises.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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