I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
