He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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