my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
