get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
