Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
