i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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