sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
