Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
