Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
