I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I will be naked everywhere
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
