This is not my ceiling
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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