Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
