When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
