OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
